On Sunday morning, I woke up in a bad mood. There was absolutely nothing wrong in my life. Miraculously, my work is going smoothly and I have no conflicts stirring in my friendships or in my marriage. Needless to say, my mood made me cranky, and most of all, super judgmental. People were just on my nerves for no reason and I felt unsettled in my heart.
Can you relate? On days like that, it feels like there is a thick layer of fog somewhere up above clouding over my clear, sunshiny day.
So faced with this agitation, I turned to a trusted ritual. I went to my dance gathering, as I have done every Sunday for the last 10 years, to clear my brain. This is not your normal dance class. Imagine walking into a gym at 8:30 am in the morning with 150 other people all there dancing their hearts and brains out with you!! No one is talking, just dancing. This place is my church where I don’t need to take care of anybody or please anyone. I have full permission to pay attention to myself, to dance, and to behave however I want. Sometimes I’m laughing and sometimes I’m screaming out loud with joy or pent up energy! Other times, I’m dancing quietly by myself or in a deep groove with others.
How I will show up from one Sunday to the next, I never know. But what I do know is that my when I reconnect with myself – whether through dance, or some other centering practice – the clouds part. I am reminded with certainty that above the fog and muck of a bad mood or an over-active mind is a brighter, blue-sky day. And when I break through to those clear skies, it’s like coming home. I just have to trust it. Some days it may only take five minutes for the bad weather in my mind to clear; other days it can take an hour.
One of my mentors, Martha Beck, recently said in a workshop that everything you have ever asked for and desired is being delivered to you, but you have to be at the right address! You have to be at home within yourself to receive the packages. Much of the time you are at the wrong address so you miss hearing the doorbell ring. When you are in a storm like the one I was in this morning and when your mind is filled with judgment, comparison or guilt, you will miss the delivery man. If you’re blaming others for your situation, you’re also far away from home. And if you are saying “yes” when you really want to say “no,” you will miss the gifts.
But when you turn to a practice that brings you back to center (back home!), the clouds part and the opportunities come. The relationship you’ve been envisioning shows up. The career opportunity that you’re ready for miraculously comes your way. Like Martha Beck says, the doorbell won’t stop ringing! But you have to be at home within yourself. You need to bring in a practice that cuts through the storm and returns you to the sunny skies.
I write this now from my “centered place.” Dancing returned me to my home address.
I ask you, right now, what weather pattern are you experiencing? Is it stormy? Foggy? Drizzly? Is it a hurricane? Or just partly cloudy? Can you pause and trust that it will clear? And what can you do right now to reclaim your sunshiny day. When you’re truly at home, inside, then all the good things can get delivered.
